16 Reasons To Love Jennifer Lopez’s ‘On The Floor’

25 May
 
(Originally posted 15/03/11)
 
 
1. J.Lo gets a lift to ‘da club’ in a BMW. Because they paid her to. I wish I got paid to go to ‘da club’. Taxis cost a fucking fortune.2. J.Lo puts on her Swarovski earrings AFTER she gets out of the car but BEFORE she goes inside the club. Because they paid her to. This would only happen in Stoke if someone was about to get stabbed.

3. The opening chandelier shot looks like something off of the start of Crossroads circa 2001.

4. There’s an inexplicable green alien at 0.39. Is this a product placement I don’t recognise?

5. Pitbull says the words ‘Donk de Donk’ not once but twice during the whole song. LIKE THAT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE. In fact, he might say it more often than that but it’s hard to distinguish anything he says at the best of times. Just nod and smile…

6. The ‘Dance the night away…’ bridge. Smooth.

7. J.Lo shitting herself at 1.57 when she ‘recognises herself’ ‘On The Floor’. Stupid, but funny.

8. ‘Laa laaaaa lalalalalalalalala laaaa…’

9. Product Placement Fail at 2.24. What is that shit? Come on Indiscriminate Alcoholic Beverage Company, you’re supposed to shove the product in our faces!

10. ‘Let’s do a sick on the floor’. (Probably not the real lyrics)

11. The spinning thing. Do not try this on your next visit to your nearest drinking establishment. You will be thrown out.

12. Shaky Cam.

13. The dance track trying to heave it’s way into the song on numerous occasions but never quite making it.

14. The dance routine: ‘Air grab, Air grab, wipe the sweat, wipe the sweat, scan the room, scan the room; look exhausted.’ I can defo see it catching on.

15. That theatre might as well be the Regent in Stoke-On-Trent City Centre. If that’s where the product placement money’s gone, J.Lo, you’ve been robbed love.

16. The fact that the whole thing (song and video) is a load of old tosh. It is fun though. Very summery, very addictive, very jolly.

Well done Jennifer Lopez.

Pitbull: Could do better.

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