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‘I Wanna Go’ (Back To 2001)

23 Jun

Here’s the shiz. Britney’s new single, ‘I Wanna Go’ is a pretty substandard Ke$ha-esque-robo-pop ditty. In my opinion, it wouldn’t even make the top five tracks from its parent album ‘Femme Fatale’. But apparently, IT’S WHAT THE FANS WANT. To make this work then, ‘I Wanna Go’ needed a pretty great video. Luckily, thanks to director Chris Marrs Pilliero, it has.

In case you couldn’t be arsed to watch that, here are the best bits;

Britney’s ‘fuck you”s. It’s always funny to hear popstars swear. No exceptions.

This song is off Britney’s album, ‘Femme Fatale’ don’t you know. ‘Femme Fatale’. ‘FEMME FATALE’. THIS ONE HERE. LOOK, LOOK AT IT, LOOK AT THE PICTURE. IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THIS WHEN YOU GO TO BUY IT FROM THE SHOPS. THIS ONE. ‘FEMME FATALE’, IT’S CALLED.

Genius Product Placement. It’s a staple of american music videos these days and it’s almost unavoidable. Consequently, if you have to do it, at least do it in an amusing, cheeky kind of way. The ‘VW’ product placement in ‘I Wanna Go’ is brilliantly thrown in. It’s almost as good as the Blackberry Product Placement in the ‘Womanizer’ video. Look it up if you don’t know what i’m on about.

The Mickey Mouse skull T-shirt. Both a nostalgic nod back to Britter’s Mousekateer days and also the death of it. Obviously, innocent Britney died a LONG time ago, but the whole ‘I Wanna Go’ video has a very retrospective, early-Britney vibe to it. It’s almost like every single from ‘Toxic’ to ‘Till The World Ends’ never existed. Britney looks healthy, happy and strangely youthful for a 29 year old mother of two.

Crossroads 2: Cross Harder showing at the cinema. Fantastic reference that there’s actually no need for at all. I love a bit of Postmodernism, me.

The self-conciously rubbish car scenes. At least I hope it’s self-concious.

Other highlights include completely random moments involving milk and seashells and further pop-cultural references to ‘Thriller’, ‘Kill Bill’ and ‘The Terminator’. To point them all out though would ruin it and would provide an irritating and needless blow by blow commentary to what is essentially a fun, throwaway pop video.

The main highlight however, is that Britney at least seems to know exactly what is going on around her, something which seems to be a concious focus of Pilliero’s direction; cheerfully dispelling all the corporate puppet rumours and speculation.

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Loughborough University: Wanting Your Money Whether You’re A Student, Graduate Or Dead

6 Jun

Today I recieved my monthly quarterly twice-yearly edition of Loughborough University’s ‘Alumni Magazine’; a 32 page list of ways to donate money to the be-all-and-end-all location in everybody’s life, their old university.

This glossy, full-colour publication helpfully informs me of all the different ways I can donate money to Loughborough University, including ‘Grad Gift’; a way to say ‘thanks’ upon graduation. Or even, and i’m not making this up, leaving Loughborough University money in my will. MY WILL. Like, when I’m dead.

Hopefully I won’t have to painstakingly consider this for another 50-60 years but, I wonder if after i’ve forged a hugely successful career, settled down, travelled the world, done things I’ve always wanted to do, eaten things I’ve always wanted to eat, met people i’ve always wanted to meet, loved and lost new and old friends, loved and lost new and old family members, that after all that, the one place I decide I want my life’s savings to go to is to Loughborough University. A place where I occasionally went to lectures and got drunk at for 3 of my 80 years of existence, over half a century ago.

To be honest, I’d rather give it to the cat’s home.

I hate cats.

And I don’t think i’m being unduly harsh, I believe the £20,000+ I’ve already given to their educated selves is ‘thank-you’ enough. And anyway, they’ll only piss it away on sweets sports. ‘Coz that’s one thing Loughborough’s really crying out for; a new Sport Science/Exercise Studies/Crosstrainer Engineering/Tiddly-Winks Study Centre…

By the way, If I ever send a message to ‘Loughborough University Alumni Magazine’ for them to include the notification of my wedding or birth of my first child into their publication (perhaps with an obnoxious accompanying photo!) then please, please, someone smother me with my Loughborough Merch hoodie and quietly shoot me in the head. Cheers.

We’ve Moved Home

26 May

Well hello there!

Welcome to ‘…or something 2.0’. The blog’s moved down the road to WordPress as we became a little bit dissatisfied with the last landlord’s housekeeping so here we are in our shiny new home!

It still needs some decorating, and we’ll probably be moving furniture around for a good few weeks yet, but we’ve moved all our old stuff in and we’ve (hopefully) helpfully signposted when and where it all came from, just in case the bailiffs come knocking or something. I don’t really know why that’s important.

Updates will hopefully be coming more regularly from now on although you never know, I might get hit by a bus, or kidnapped by pagan extremists or something.

Anyway, ta for visiting! You can see yourself out.

Jon.

‘The Next Belle De Jour’

24 May

This blog was originally created on another blog site. After about six months I got sick of it, so now i’m here. To maintain a sense of consistency I have copied previous posts into this new wordpress version of ‘…or something.’; ‘…or something.’ 2.0 if you like…

This post was originally filed 11/11/10

So then, this is my blog.

I’ve been meaning to do this for AGES. Even before the dude at the job centre told me the best way into journalism was to ‘start a blog or something…you could be the next Belle De Jour’.

Basically, since joining Twitter i’ve realised i’m far too mouthy and opinionated to fit everything into them tiny little tweets. So instead, i’m going to be pissing all my friends off from now on by tweeting links to this instead. Apart from when X Factor’s on, obviously. Then i’ll be struggling to type fast enough to document my frustration at EVERYTHING LOUIS WALSH SAYS ‘all in real time’.

It’ll be mostly TV and music I’ll be ranting about I imagine, although I may throw a serious post in, just to throw everyone off at some point. I’ll also try and strike a balance between the total amount of negative posts and the total amount of positive ones. For those who require special assistance with skim reading, the postitive ones will undoubtably contain at least one ‘AMAZING’ or ‘BEST THING EVER’ whilst the negative ones will probably climax with an equally intellectual ‘So…there, YOU DICK.’

And that concludes my entirely pointless first blog. Boo and indeed, Ya. 🙂